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How To Develop A Strong Bond With Your Baby: The Secrets You Need To Know

How To Develop A Strong Bond With Your Baby: The Secrets You Need To Know

Tips on how to create a strong bond with your baby3 secrets to creating a bond with your baby

Love At First Sight! Oh, Wait..

For nine months you’ve been walking around with a miracle in your womb. You’ve waited patiently and longed for the day when you finally get to met your child. Maybe you’ve even dreamed for years, of a baby of your own.

And when the day finally comes, that day that you’ve waited for so long, you look into your newborn baby’s eyes and you feel: absolutely nothing.

Somehow you don’t get that feeling of unconditional love. That ”I would walk through fire for you” feeling just doesn’t appear.

This was me.

A little over 4 years ago my son was born and I didn’t feel an ounce of love for him when I first saw him. It actually took me quite some time to get that feeling. Today I can say that he’s the love of my life. But it wasn’t love at first sight. And I felt so ashamed about it.

But this is actually a common problem.

Some parents feel love for their newborn baby the minute he or she is born. But for others, it can take some time.

Related: My Birth Story – Memories Of A Day Full Of Love

 

3 Ways To Bond With Your Baby

Bonding is a type of relationship that usually begins at the time of birth between a parent and the baby. This is the basis for an ongoing relationship.

Bonding can be an instant attachment, or it’s a relationship that’s developed over time. Parents who adopt a baby develop a bond and love the child, even though they haven’t taken care of the baby since he or she was a newborn.

Sometimes there might be an underlying medical problem that is the factor of why a parent doesn’t develop a bond to the child. If you suspect that this is the case for you, talk to your healthcare provider about it. You can, and should accept their help.

Remember to Bookmark, Print or Pin this list so you can easily access it when you need it.

 

SKIN-TO-SKIN CONTACT

Your baby has lived inside of you for almost a year. You’ve rocked her while you were walking, fed her when you were eating, and most importantly, you kept her warm and safe.

Adapting to life outside the womb can be difficult for your baby. By continue carrying your baby, keeping her close and letting her feel your warmth, you help her get used to this new world.

Skin-to-skin contact helps regulate baby’s breathing and heart rate and reduces babies level of stress hormone and make them feel calm and safe. A baby that isn’t stressed sleeps better, which allows you to sleep better as well.

When you cuddle with your baby, holding her, and stroking her, you develop a bond and creating a relationship with your baby. This is the start of your lifelong relationship with each other.

It’s not only your baby that get’s calm from the skin-to-skin contact. It’s soothing and calming for you as well.

A study made by MCN: The American Journal of Maternal/Child Nursing, has shown that skin to skin contact with your baby minimize the risk of maternal depression.

 

BABY-WEARING

Wearing your baby is a great way to connect with each other. You can look into your baby’s eyes while you talk or sing to her. Carrying your baby in a front baby carrier also allows you to feel your baby’s warmth and you can sniff her head to smell that sweet scent.

By using a carrier you can take care of your older kids without feeling that you’re leaving the baby alone. You can do chores and cook dinner or anything else that you need both your hands for without getting interrupted by a fuzzy baby.

A study published in the American Academy of Pediatrics showed that babies who received carrying cried 43% less than babies who wasn’t carried.Baby carrying equals happy baby! Klicka för att Tweeta

 

LOOK INTO THE MIRROR

Watch yourself interact with your baby in the mirror. This might feel like a weird tip. But when you’re watching yourself be a mom, it’s easier for your brain to process the information.

Mirror therapy is a way of tricking the brain into believing phantom pains. But there’s no one saying that this kind of treatment is limited to only phantom pains.

By looking at pictures of yourself with your baby or as mention above, looking at you interact with your baby in the mirror, you can more easily get used to the idea of that you’re a mom. When you see it for yourself, it becomes more real.

Your baby doesn’t understand the reflection in the mirror just yet, but she will definitely appreciate this activity later.

 

ARE YOUR BABY A STRANGER?

If you’ve bonded with your baby immediately after birth, that’s great! I’m so glad for you! But if you haven’t, if you feel like your baby is a stranger, be patience. I’m sure that the unconditional love will come to you soon. Just give it some time.

If you still feel the same way in a couple of weeks, talk to your baby’s doctor and ask what kind of help you can get. You might be suffering from postpartum depression. The sooner the problem is identified, the sooner you can receive help and start developing a bond with your baby.

Before you leave, make sure to check out the guide on What To Pack In Your Hospital Bag – A Complete Checklist.

We’re also working hard on writing these posts:

  • +10 Best Ways To Prepare For Childbirth
  • Sleep Guide For Pregnancy: How To Stop Tossing And Turning!

Make sure that you don’t miss them by subscribing to our newsletter and we’ll let you know when they go live!

LET’S CHAT DOWN BELOW! HOW DID YOU CONNECT WITH YOUR BABY?

Photo: Photospiration

36 Comments

  1. Ali Rost

    I remember when I had my first child and felt like I was looking at a wrinkly alien! Ack .. now what do I do? It didn’t take too terribly long before were were on our way. Mostly I remember simply holding him a lot. Instead of sitting him in a bouncy seat .. he sat with me while I did homework etc. (I was a University student at the time). It also helped when he was a little more interactive.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Lol, that’s so funny! But I’m glad that you could connect eventually 🙂

      Svara
  2. Victoria Lola

    Interesting! And learnt something new in this post! Motherhood comes with much stress but it’s the greatest gift :*
    Baby Alice is soooo cute <3

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thank you soooo much! 😀

      Svara
  3. Dusica

    I’m not mother yet but this interesting article definitely will help me when I will be 🙂

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      I hope it does 🙂

      Svara
  4. Dustin

    Great advice! Thanks

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thank you for stopping by 🙂

      Svara
  5. emma white

    oh it was certainly love at first site when I gave birth to my 6 babies and there’s nothing better than that quality bonding time with baby and remembering nothing matters more the housework can wait

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Omg, 6 babies! I’m so glad that you felt that way immediately with them 🙂

      Svara
  6. Ana De- Jesus

    You should never feel ashamed about feeling like that. Like you said it takes time to get to know your little one and I am so pleased that the bond is stronger now x

    Svara
  7. Ana De- Jesus

    You should never feel ashamed about feeling like that. Like you said it takes time to get to know your little one and I am so pleased that the bond is stronger now x So lovely to hear x

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thanks for saying that 🙂 I needed to hear it!

      Svara
  8. Tiffany

    This was beautifully written! BTW I absolutely love the layout of your blog. P.S Looking forward to more post.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      And I love you for saying that 😀 You made my day!

      Svara
  9. Joanna

    I don’t have children so I wasn’t aware that there are mothers who don’t connect with their children from the first moment they see them. It must be very hard for them and I don’t even want to imagine what must be going on through their minds. Your bonding advice is very helpful.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thank you 🙂 Unfortunately postpartum depression is very common.

      Svara
  10. kathryn Maher

    Great tips here on bonding with your newborn. I used to carry my kids in a sling and found that body to body closeness really helped when forming a close bond. I also breast fed my children and that really helps to form an almost instant bond.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      I agree, breastfeeding helps a lot!

      Svara
  11. Sauumye

    This is really interesting. Motherhood is such a nice gift and it’s amazing to see how people bond with their children. Love it!!

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thank you 🙂 Yes, it’s truly a gift, and I don’t think there is a better gift that you can get 🙂

      Svara
  12. David Elliott

    I can only imagine not being able to feel instant connection. Then again I’m a dad so bonding was different. Bonding didmean touch but it also meant singing and playing and making silly faces. It’s a little different but I felt it pretty quickly with my daughter.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Playing is a great way, especially when they learn to smile at you. Then there’s nothing better! 🙂

      Svara
  13. Elizabeth O.

    It’s nice to be able to bond with your little one. These are all great ideas. Skin to skin contact is a must especially during the first few weeks.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Yes, skin-to-skin is so important. I hope that every parent tries it!

      Svara
  14. Rose Sahetapy

    Motherhood is a beautiful thing that a woman can have. It’s a blessing! It’s good to notice certain things that could hindrance the bonding between the mothers and their babies.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      It sure is a blessing 🙂

      Svara
  15. Lindsey

    What a great post and one that i’ve not read before, it kind of was the same, well it took, say an hour after giving birth for me to fall in love with my daughter, I mean I loved her instatntly. but I had family and friends in the hospital, when it was just us on our own, the love came in leaps and bounds. x

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      How nice though to have your family at the hospital 🙂 When we gave birth no one got to visit..

      Svara
  16. Nadine Cathleen

    Everybody just assumes that it is normal to bond with your baby immediately but there are lots of cases where it is difficult for the mother. Thanks for raising awareness of this and giving these great tips!

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Yes, it doesn’t come easy for everyone.. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

      Svara
  17. Vlad

    So great to know that the bond feels stronger now! <3
    Reading this made me can't wait to be a dad which I'm surprised I'm saying that haha!

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thanks 🙂 There’s nothing better than being a parent, I promise you 🙂

      Svara
  18. Louisa

    The moment my children were born I can admit it wasn’t the magical stars and hearts but I felt myself lose a part of my heart because they instantly owned it. These are excellent suggestions and I highly recommend skin to skin contact.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      What a beautiful way to put it 🙂

      Svara
  19. Celeste B Purposed

    This is something I did often, that skin to skin contact. I would let my babies sleep on my chest because I was afraid they’d stop breathing. Thanks for sharing motherhood is a one of those ”beautiful struggles” that must be endured

    Svara

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