Let’s Talk About Sex: How To Have Great Sex After The Baby Is Born
What's inside: 5 Tips on How To Have Great Sex After The Baby is Born (+ One Extra Tip!)
Is It Time To Reconnect?
First off, Congratulations on your new baby! There’s nothing as exciting as new life, right?
For some couples, the bond between them only gets stronger after extended the family. And if you’re one of them, I have to congratulate you once again. You’re part of a happy minority.
But for most people, welcoming a new family member can take a toll on the relationship. The relationship can become way better than ever before, it can become a total trainwreck, or it can be as good as it was before you decided to have a child. But I think that most couples will agree on that the relationship changes in some way.
When a woman becomes a new mother, it’s almost like she’s taken a lover. Up til now, it’s only been the two of you. But suddenly there’s this new person who sleeps next you, takes up all of your time, attention and energy. This little lover, rival, competitor, angel, or baby is always around, getting everything she screams for.
It’s easy for new dads to feel a little bit superfluous. Perhaps even a little jealous. He’s been used to being alone with you for so long and now he might be struggling with finding his role in this new family.
Like a virgin. Rusty. Afraid. Can sex after #pregnancy feel good? Click to find out! Klicka för att Tweeta
Can Sex After Pregnancy Feel Good?
Like a virgin. Rusty. Afraid. This is how some new moms describe how it feels to start having sex again after childbirth. It doesn’t really feel natural but worst, what if it hurts? What if the wounds tear and get infected?
Your body has changed. It looks kinda strange. The stomach isn’t as flat as it used to be and you don’t really feel like yourself in this new, post-baby body.
If this is how you feel, don’t worry. You’re not alone. These type of feelings after giving birth are very common.
Celebrities and social media have us thinking that it’s normal to look like before the pregnancy just a couple of weeks after giving birth. But you have just undergone something huge. Carrying a child and giving birth is stressful both mentally and physically. And it would be strange if this didn’t show on your relationship and your sex life.
And if this isn’t enough. Having a new baby changes Everything. Suddenly you don’t get to go to sleep when you’re tired. Your boobs hurt. Someone in your house screams, a lot. Life as you know it just flew out the door. There’s no wonder that your attitude against sex has changed. At least for now.
Life as you know it just flew out the door. There’s no wonder that your attitude against sex has changed. At least for now.
Remember to Bookmark, Print or Pin this list so you can easily access it when you feel ready to have sex again!
How To Have Great Sex After The Baby Is Born:
Here are some general guidelines and tips to follow for postpartum sex. Remember to wait until after your postpartum checkup and talk with your doctor or midwife about birth control first. Please note that I’m not a doctor or medical professional and these are just my thoughts on the subject.
1. Don’t Have To High Demands
Having sex for the first time after giving birth will most likely not be perfect. It takes almost a year for the female body to get back to ‘normal’ after childbirth so don’t set your expectations out to be too high.
The first time after giving birth will most likely feel like, well, your first time! And for most of us, that experience was nowhere close to being perfect. Be prepared for a few awkward and even uncomfortable moments but try to remember that you and your significant other have had some amazing moments before. And you will have those again.
2. Be Vocal
Sex is something that’s supposed to feel good for both parties, so be vocal about it. This can absolutely mean being loud in bed or talking dirty to your spouse. BUT! It also means that you should speak up and tell your partner when something doesn’t feel good or if it hurts.
Create the best conditions for a great first time by talking about it with your spouse first. Tell him about your fears and insecurities before going to bed together. Your spouse might have his doubts or concerns about sex after pregnancy and delivery too, and talking about it will only bring you closer together.
3. Start The Foreplay Before Going To Bed
The desire and trust for one another are founded long before a couple decides to sleep with each other. Give each other compliments (Lots of them! You can’t waste them!) and show your appreciation for one another.
Do you know which couples have the best and most satisfying sex lives? The ones that share household chores. Research has shown that couples who divvy up household chores like doing dishes, cleaning, and changing dirty diapers have more sex and higher relationship satisfaction than couples who don’t divvy up the chores.
Couples who divvy up household chores have more and better sex! #Relationshipadvice Klicka för att Tweeta
4. Start Out Easy
There’s no need for you to ‘go all the way’ the first time after giving birth. Start out easy and give each other hugs, kisses and some gentle touching.
There’s absolutely no need for you to have penetrating sex in the beginning. If you feel insecure about how it’s going to feel or if you’re afraid of eventual pain, give it more time! Making out, cuddling, touching, caressing, or if you feel ready, oral sex will do just fine.
5. Try To Awake Your Lust
Taking care of a newborn, run a household, and maybe even trying to raise older kids is more work than a full-time job. Way more. And if you work full time, at least you get coffee breaks and lunch in peace and quiet. So if you’re just not feeling it, I get it.
Start with some foreplay, gentle touching and kissing to see if you start feeling like it. Sex is probably the last thing on your mind after giving birth but you could try to awaken your lust by creating an erotic mood. (Only do this if you really want to. I do not suggest that you should put out due to feeling obligated to your man.)
One last, quick tip. Use lube. Lube is great, it makes sex feel way better, and it makes it 50% easier for both men and women to orgasm.
Before you leave, make sure to check out The Best 22 At Home Date Night Ideas – With Sleeping Kids.
We’re also working hard on writing these posts:
- The Best Food To Eat When You’re Pregnant
- How To Meet Mom Friends: The Ultimate Guide
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Let’s chat down below! What’s your best tips for great sex after giving birth?