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How To Get Alone Time As A Mom (No It’s Not Selfish, And Here’s Why)

How To Get Alone Time As A Mom (No It’s Not Selfish, And Here’s Why)
 How to stop yelling at your child

Free printable how to get alone time when you're a mom

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How to get time to yourself when you're a mom

The Stay At Home Dream

Being a mom is hard.

Raising children, getting food on the table, running errands, cleaning, driving kids around.. It’s a never ending list of things that needs to get done.

I get up at 6 am every single morning when my baby wakes up. And at 9 pm, I can barely keep my eyes open.

I am a stay at home mom. And it is amazing. I’m currently living my dream. Being a mom has made me a better person and I’m thankful for my life every single day. But needless to say, being a mom can take a toll on you.

Anyone who has a kid that has screamed all the way home from the store, or who has refused to put their clothes on when you’re in a rush knows what I’m talking about. Some days are easy, but it’s no wonder you run out of patience sometimes.

In order to recharge and get the patience back, you’ll need to get some peace and quite. And that peace and quite are most often found when you’re alone.

 

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How To Get Alone Time

Being alone allows you to reboot your brain and unwind. By being alone you get the chance to think through problems deeply and you get to discover yourself and find your own voice. There’s a lot of benefits of being alone. But when you’re a mom, it’s not always that simple to find time to be just alone.

 

I used to hate being alone. There was nothing worse. But now that I am a mom, I crave it! Klicka för att Tweeta

 

1. Ask your partner for help

Why should you even have to ask your partner for help when it’s his kids as well?  For a lot of moms, this is a no-brainer. But in most families, it’s the mother who takes care of the children majority of the time, even if the father is home too.

If this is the case for you, you need to make your husband understand that you deserve alone time. Men are overall really good at taking time for themselves. But if your husband isn’t one of those men, encourage him to leave the house to do something fun by himself. That way he’ll understand that you both could benefit from some alone time.

If you need a little push. Schedule a weekend where your husband gets 3-5 hours of alone time on Saturday. On Sunday, you get the same amount of time to yourself. Leave the house to do something fun, get your husband and kids out of your head, and DON’T feel guilty about it. Make sure that you come home as a happier person. That will make your husband want you to leave the house more often.

 

2. Get support from your family

Your family is especially important if you are a single mom or if you have a husband who just doesn’t seem to get it. This doesn’t have to mean your parents or siblings. You might have a cousin or an aunt that you can get support from or maybe you could get some support from your mother in law.

Ask your family to take care of your kids for an afternoon while you stay at home and read a book. Or ask them to take your kids to their soccer game and watch while you get some quite time.

Is your birthday coming up? Ask for babysitter coupons. Alone time is much more valuable than a flower or a new bowl. Your kids will probably love that gift too. Last year, I actually gave babysitting coupons to my mom. I made ten coupons out of regular white paper and wrote “One hour with Anton” on them. So far, she’s used two of them.

 

3. Ask your friends

Friends with kids or the parents of your kid’s friends are great to take advantage of when you’re in need for a babysitter. If you don’t usually watch each other’s kids, start off by inviting the whole family to your home for a playdate. Then you can talk and get to know each other before you watch each other’s kids.

Start a babysitting group with some friends, neighbors or parents of your kid’s friends. You can take turns to watch each other’s kids once a month or drive each other’s kids to basketball. That way you’ll get alone time continuously.

 

4. Pay for it

Why not hire a babysitter? Seriously, why not? It’s a great way for you to be able to leave the house for a few hours, do something fun, and come back as a new, improved, and happier mom.

You might not feel comfortable with hiring a babysitter. And I get that it can feel weird with a stranger in your house watching your kids. But if you ask around, you might find someone with good recommendations. Or maybe a teenager of someone you know want’s to earn a few bucks.

 

5. Teach your kids

I don’t doubt that you’re doing an awesome job with teaching your kids everything that they need to know. But if you’re not doing a good job of taking time to yourself, then you’re most likely missing out on teaching your kids one important thing.

Time to yourself is crutial when it comes to mental health.

You should teach your kids from a young age that alone time is important. And it’s not only important for you to have alone time. They could probably also benefit from being alone in their room for a while. I bet that if you leave your kids alone in their room for a while, without an iPad or tv, they’ll be playing, reading, drawing, or doing something else that’s fun in no time!

One way that you can teach your kids is to divide time. Give your child 30 minutes to decide what he or she wants to do. Turn your phone off and be completely present for those 30 minutes. When the timer goes off, it’s your time to get to do whatever you want.

But if you’re desperate for some alone time, like this second. Put the kids in front of the tv! And don’t feel bad for it. Research has actually shown that young kids can learn from watching educational tv shows (e.g. Dora the explorer).

 

Research has actually shown that young kids can learn from watching educational tv shows. Klicka för att Tweeta

 

6. Change the way you think

The biggest obstacle that stands in the way of you getting alone time, is probably you. If you’re a mom, I bet that you feel guilty when you’re not with your kids, or when you’re not thinking of your kids.

This needs to change. If you don’t feel that you deserve alone time, you’re not going to enjoy it anyway.

You need to make alone time a priority to yourself. Try to plan something fun to do. By making sure that it’s something you actually want to do, you’ll be more likely to do it. It might even be a good idea to schedule alone time. But you have to remember to stick to that plan.

 

Remember To Enjoy It

Like I said earlier, being a mom is hard. It’s a thankless job and you rarely get a break to be just a woman. Taking time to yourself instead of taking care of your family can seem selfish. And finding the balance between everything in life and time to yourself might seem impossible.

Making time for yourself is important for so many reasons. It can make you more peaceful, rested, creative, and healthier. Sometimes it just feels good to get to clear your head.  Whatever you choose to do when you get alone time, just remember to enjoy it.

Before you leave, make sure to check out the guide on 5 Things About Wine That Every Woman Should Know.

We’re also working hard on writing these posts:

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LET’S CHAT DOWN BELOW! What’s your best tip when you need some time to yourself?

13 Comments

  1. Adrienne Bradley

    Love this! Parents need to realize taking time to destress and recharge can make them a better parent. You give some great tips for making alone time doable.

    Svara
    • AwesomeAlice

      Thank you! And I totally agree with you 🙂

      Svara
  2. Ruth Bugg

    I love the idea of babysitting coupons! That is definitely something I’m going to suggest to the hubs. This momma needs some alone time!

    Svara
  3. Bailey

    When I need time to myself… I get outside because I can strap two babies to the stroller, and it gets the children not touching me, and me out of my chaos and makes me feel a little more human. Which is what I need when I need me time.

    I don’t get much for partner support due to his job, so I often pay someone to watch my toddler for downtime. And when he does get home, I sneak off for a bath.

    Svara
  4. Adrianne Smith

    I’m a stay-at-home mom, too, and finding time for myself is a tough task. I try to enjoy the every second of quiet time I can muster in a day, and some are few and far between. The babysitter coupon is a fantastic idea! Yes, there is certainly a guilt factor at play when you want (and need) some ”me” time, but without it, I’m not giving my absolute best to my kids and my family.

    Svara
  5. Chanel Mynt

    This was so good! It’s important to take some time to get away and reset, so these are some great ideas. Our daycare offers ”Parents night out” but it’s not often, so I may need to utilize some of these tips!

    Svara
  6. Working Mum

    Great article, you are so right about us Mums being a big obstacle in taking time for ourselves. The guilt does get in the way and I am so bad at switching off. I would be better off not blogging and sitting down with a cup of tea instead!

    Svara
  7. Lexie

    Love this! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    Svara
  8. April Kitchens

    I don’t play about my alone time!! I send my daughter with my parents on weekends so I can get some things done and enjoy silence!

    Svara
  9. Nicole Anderson | Camping for Women

    Every mother should take the time to read this post! It is just so important to get alone time and doing this would actually make you a better mother. It’s all about investing in yourself so you have a better ability to be a great mom. Great tips and strategies.

    Svara
  10. Lee

    So true. Alone time is so crucial to being a functioning parent.. and I think that too many people don’t see it as something necessary. It’s unfair to expect us to ALWAYS be classified as one thing or another. We need alone time to feel like ”us” again.

    Svara
  11. Heather

    Yes! I’m getting my alone time this week. Husband is taking the kids fishing from Wednesday to Sunday and it will be just me and the baby. I may even take him to the babysitter one day. 😉

    Svara
  12. Elizabeth @ mom always knows

    Asking your friends and partner is so important! We do need time for ourselves or we will go crazy as Mom!! Thanks for the tips!

    Svara

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